Asking For Some Respect
WRKO radio host defends talk of victim ‘asking for trouble’
We all know that the world can be a dangerous place. We all know that some places and some times are more dangerous. That's a reality.
Words matter. Your thoughts show through your words. People hear your words and it changes their thoughts. So, what is it that "asking for trouble" conveys? (It should go without saying that she was not asking to be beaten, raped and killed. She wasn't asking for that trouble.)
It conveys a lack of respect. Maybe you think that this person is just talking about the realities of a dangerous locale, or a dangerous time to be out. I disagree.
A war zone is a dangerous place. It's safer to be an accountant in New Jersey than it is to join our military and end up in Iraq. If a soldier dies in combat in Iraq, do we hear people saying "well, by joining the military he was asking for trouble?" Of course we don't, even though we all recognize the reality that certain choices he made may have increased his risk. We don't say that because we respect him.
When a man moves to a city after living in some rural area with a much lower violent crime rate, do we say that he was "asking for trouble" when he is mugged? Of course we don't. Why not? Because of basic respect for the man.
You know what? Women get beaten, raped and killed at all hours of the day. In all sorts of places. And something that contributes to the lack of respect of the women who are victimized by rapists and murderers is the way society treats female victims. Part of that poor treatment is the "asking for trouble" mentality. It exhibits a lack of respect. Worse, it perpetuates a lack of respect.
Certain people are allowed to make decisions and enjoy an expectation of safety. And even when they end up on the wrong side of a situation, they can at least enjoy an expectation of our sympathy and respect. But, apparently, women still exist at a lower level of respect because the first thing that occurs to some people is how much responsibility the victim had.
Don't excuse this criminal behavior in even the slightest way. Don't fool yourself by telling yourself that you're just being realistic. This isn't the same as telling your children to be careful, or pointing out the relative safety of certain situation. Nobody is asking for it. Don't perpetuate a myth that leads to the devaluation of women.
Blaming the victim is a thing of ugly. Show some compassion and some respect. And think about why you hear this attitude about some people, but not others.
WRKO midmorning host DePetro late yesterday denied blaming Imette St. Guillen for her demise, but said being out alone at 4 a.m. and drinking with strangers was “asking for trouble” and that women must use “common sense.”Look.
We all know that the world can be a dangerous place. We all know that some places and some times are more dangerous. That's a reality.
Words matter. Your thoughts show through your words. People hear your words and it changes their thoughts. So, what is it that "asking for trouble" conveys? (It should go without saying that she was not asking to be beaten, raped and killed. She wasn't asking for that trouble.)
It conveys a lack of respect. Maybe you think that this person is just talking about the realities of a dangerous locale, or a dangerous time to be out. I disagree.
A war zone is a dangerous place. It's safer to be an accountant in New Jersey than it is to join our military and end up in Iraq. If a soldier dies in combat in Iraq, do we hear people saying "well, by joining the military he was asking for trouble?" Of course we don't, even though we all recognize the reality that certain choices he made may have increased his risk. We don't say that because we respect him.
When a man moves to a city after living in some rural area with a much lower violent crime rate, do we say that he was "asking for trouble" when he is mugged? Of course we don't. Why not? Because of basic respect for the man.
You know what? Women get beaten, raped and killed at all hours of the day. In all sorts of places. And something that contributes to the lack of respect of the women who are victimized by rapists and murderers is the way society treats female victims. Part of that poor treatment is the "asking for trouble" mentality. It exhibits a lack of respect. Worse, it perpetuates a lack of respect.
Certain people are allowed to make decisions and enjoy an expectation of safety. And even when they end up on the wrong side of a situation, they can at least enjoy an expectation of our sympathy and respect. But, apparently, women still exist at a lower level of respect because the first thing that occurs to some people is how much responsibility the victim had.
Don't excuse this criminal behavior in even the slightest way. Don't fool yourself by telling yourself that you're just being realistic. This isn't the same as telling your children to be careful, or pointing out the relative safety of certain situation. Nobody is asking for it. Don't perpetuate a myth that leads to the devaluation of women.
Blaming the victim is a thing of ugly. Show some compassion and some respect. And think about why you hear this attitude about some people, but not others.
posted by Dr. Momentum at 3/07/2006 04:33:00 PM
6 Comments:
Well put, James. Bravo.
BTW - an additional note of ugly. Shame on the knuckledragger who is capitalizing on the fact that he's caused outrage by partially blaming the victim.
Of course, O'Reilly noticed the furor and had him on his TV show.
No shock there, eh?
The only person "asking for" anything here is former RI "Independent Man" DePetro. He's asking for a good blanket party.
He is just following the example of his FOX heroes as a way to fame and fortune. He an ass-hat, but he's just a symptom of a larger societal problem.
He still needs the blanket party, though.
Well said James. The only way I can EVER see the asking for trouble tag sticking is if someone walks into dangerous situation with the intent to ignite further furor. Just going from Point A to Point B minding your business is NOT asking for trouble.
This Pietro thing is contributing to a moral decay in our society. We have laws that are supposed to help guarantee our basic freedoms. Comments like "asking for trouble", imho, erode these freedoms, and contribute to an apathetic culture.
shame on that radio personality.
Good point, Jay. There is the possibility of someone entering a situation and *actually* asking for trouble.
Like saying "bring it on."
And whatnot.
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